Headaches

Lately I've been getting headaches. I had one for over a week that ended up putting me in the hospital (I had a virus, and a kidney infection) overnight. I still get headaches, and I am not sure how to get rid of them completely, but I have learned how to live with them. I think there are many times in our lives that there is something wrong, and we don't think we can fix it, so we cope with it.

Do you think that is okay? I am not sure that I do... I feel like a hypocrite saying that, when it's exactly what I do. Maybe I am a hypocrite.

There are situations that we feel like we cannot change, but does that mean we live with them? Do we just cope with them? Honestly though, do we? Do you?

Let me give you an example:

Little Man was playing at a park a few days ago, and got some wood chips in his tennis shoes. He ran around for a little while with the chips bothering his feet, because it's is a big ordeal to untie his shoes, take them off, dump them out, put them back on, and re-tie them. Especially for him, since he is still figuring out the shoe tying business. He did eventually take them off though. He asked for help, and saved his poor feet from blisters and slivers, but it took him a while. He didn't want to give up his "fun times" playing on the playground.
After he got his shoes cleaned out, and his feet didn't hurt anymore, he had even more fun. He wasn't uncomfortable anymore. He didn't feel pain, or stabbing in his feet and wasn't worried about how he stepped.

Here's another example:

A clam gets a tiny grain of sand stuck in it, and while it is painful and uncomfortable, it deals with it for years. It adds layers to the grain of sand, and polishes it, until it is smooth, and beautiful.

Both situations have a something that was bothersome, both were uncomfortable, and they both handled the situation differently.

I think it depends on the situation we are in, but we need to face every situation with prayer.

Maybe you are in a difficult relationship. Maybe your job is more than you feel like you can handle. Maybe you are in a terrible living situation.

What ever it is, face it with faith, face it with confidence, and face it with grace.

I let my headache take over my life, and maybe, if I had gone to the doctor sooner, I could have gotten better quicker without needing to go to the hospital. I probably wouldn't be writing this post though. I learned from it, and I grew through it. It was a headache, but what I learned because of it, will hopefully help you learn without needing to experience the same thing!

My headaches aren't gone. I'm coping, I'm learning, and hopefully I am polishing myself to be something great!

Writing for Me

I received a lot of responses from my last post about being enough in my own eyes. I had people ask me if I was okay, asking if I was in trouble, thanking me for my honesty, thanking me for putting into words what others feel, but can't say, and just saying, "I know how you feel! I've been there, too!"

It made me stop and think about what I put out there on the internet. What I put on my own blog. I kept being asked if I needed anything, and if there was anything anyone could do. I stopped writing for a while. I stopped, because I was worried. I worried about what anyone and everyone would think. I thought that what I would say or write would make too much of an effect too many people. I have realized the past few days that it is a good thing to effect people. To hopefully make a change, a positive change. What I say, what I feel, and what I think matters.

I am going to write what I think, and what I feel. If you don't want to keep reading, because you don't like what I have to say, that's okay. I'll write, and post, and share, and hope people read, but I will do it for me, not for you. I will write what is on my mind, and what is in my heart, and I am going to start today.

Lately, I have been thinking about friendships. I have had a lot of friends in my life. I have had a few good friends, many terrible "friends", and a small handful of really amazing friends. I have also been in each one of those categories myself.

Growing up, I tried to be the good and amazing friend, I tried to be there for the people around me, going out of my way to be friends with the kids that didn't have many friends, or that were "different", and sometimes they were the same way with me. Sometimes they would not, and I would end up broken down, and searching for new friends. In High School, I found those good friends. I had a group of friends that were pretty amazing. There was one person that wasn't a good friend, and I gave this person a lot of chances, probably more than he deserved, and ended up worse off for it. I leaned on those other people around me to hold me up, and keep me standing. But, I also wasn't a good friend to some those friends. I was a really bad friend. I lost friends that I loved deeply. I made horrible decisions.

I grew up, graduated High School, went to college, got married, watched some of those friends get married, and some of them not. I grew up. I reached out to those people that I had hurt back in High School, and I apologized. It took me years to find some of those people, but I didn't stop looking, and I was finally able to ask for the forgiveness that I have been searching for. I may never hear back from some of those people, but I asked, and I am trying to make up for it now.

I am lucky. I have 2 people that I am not related to (or married to), that are the most AMAZING friends I have ever had. These 2 ladies, know who they are, and if they don't, then I'm not doing my job well enough! I have known Jessica for almost 6 years, and she is incredible! She is my outlet, and go-to person, the person I would call if I killed someone and needed help moving the body (not that I would ever kill anyone)! She could always call me in the same situation. I feel like I can tell her anything and everything.

And I have known Lydia, for about a year, and she is amazing too. She helped me when I felt alone, and we became friends from our very first conversation! Our kids love each other, in fact, Tiny always says he is going to marry her daughter!

I have learned a lot about good friendships, and bad friendships, but no matter what I  learn, I keep trying. I keep trying to put my best foot forward in every friendship. What would happen if everyone did that? And what if we all tried to ask forgiveness, and mend relationships? What if we wanted the best for everyone, no matter what?

I am still learning, I am still trying. I stumble, and I make mistakes, but I also succeed.