To My Sister

My little sister got married in August of last year. It was a beautiful day. She chose a day that is 2 days before Little Man's birthday, which was nice for him, because he got to see his favorite Auntie! It was a hard day too. For my sister, it was the best day of her life so far! She was starting her family. She was  beginning a whole new chapter of her life. While I was and still am excited for her, inside I was hurting. I was watching my sister, who is only 3 years younger than me, start her family, while mine was not going to grow anymore. My family was complete. I had so many mixed emotions. I am very close to my little sister. I was so excited for her to get married, and then my whole world came crashing down, and I had to have a Hysterectomy. My sister tried everything she could to include me in things, and to make me feel better, and she did. If she hadn't been understanding, and thought outside of herself, I don't know how I could have made it through that day. She was the opposite of a Bridezilla. She made sure that through everything that was going on, she checked up on me, she made sure that I was recognized for things that I did for her. She made sure that I felt the love the I desperately needed at that time.

When we were growing up, we didn't have the best relationship. We fought a lot. We argued all of the time. We always were at eachother's necks. I have scars that prove how much we got along! But now we are the best of friends. I talk to her almost daily, and we share our secrets with eachother. She is my confidant and I am hers. I have shared things with her that I have only talked about with Hubby, and she somehow understands what I feel. She knows what to say to make me feel not only better, but sane!

One day I opened up to my sister about my feelings on having more children. I told her how sad I was that all around me, people are having babies, and one day she would too. I told her that I am going to be over the moon excited for her, but that it will be extremely hard for me too. I talked to her about my anxiety about how to deal with it all, and instead of her getting upset, or telling me that I was being petty and selfish, she looked at things from my perspective. She told me that when I was having kids she couldn't have kids, because she wasn't married yet. So in her perspective she was "infertile" during that time of my life. She said that it was kind of hard for her too, because she really wanted to be a mom and have kids, and experience pregnancy with me, but it wasn't possible. Instead of pulling away from me, she embraced it. She loved my kids like they were her own. She came to visit as much as she could. She bought things for my kids. Made things for them. Offered to watch them. She became their second Mommy. They love her. She loves them.

On that day, she taught me an important lesson. She taught me that I am not the only one going through a tough time. She taught me that I can look beyond myself, and help others and in turn help myself because of it. She has been a great example to me, and I'm so glad that I get to call her my sister, my best friend, and my family! I love you Little Sister!